Funny facebook statuses and facebook quotes

Jokes statuses and quotes

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a boy walked in on his mom and dad having sex. His dad said "we're making you a brother/sister" the boy replies "do her doggie-style, I'd rather have a puppie"
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Q:If a blond and a Bernette where falling off a building who would fall first? A:The Bernette would because the blond would have to stop and ask for directions
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~ A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed, Husband Taunted:Good night mother of 3 kids. Wife Replied:Good night Father of none.
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i was picking my nose and i got a big pink thing i tho-rt it was a sweet but it was my... Brian
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They should have thrown a brick
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If you were a pigeon, whose car would you shit on? write your answer below. :)
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We bring the stars out we bring the snails and the spiders from the grass out ! We'll do this because Julian from I'm a celeb need to get their ass out !
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a smart man a smart woman and Santa r in a room they see a u00c2u00a310 who picks it up first??
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When i say I'm going to deliver, i F..bad..ing deliver. Like a postman with tourettes.
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need: ping pong table. anyone wanna donate $75 million?
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I just thought I'd let the world know that i will one day rule it. so beware world, your about to become mine!
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U heard about Mickey divorcing Minnie? Yea that bitch was F..bad..ing Goofy!!
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I would hit you, but babe, that would be animal cruelty!
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if history repeats its self I'm totally getting a dinosaur
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i took my dog to the vet and said " whats wrong with my dog every time they hears a bell they runs to a corner" and the vet said "that's because hes a BOXER" lol
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