Funny facebook statuses and facebook quotes

Witty statuses and quotes

Group:Witty
Text:
When life hands you lemons, cut them open, squirt them in life's eyes and say, "Take that, you dirty !"
Group:Witty
Text:
We only have one head telling us what to do
Group:Witty
Text:
My profile: R RATED for Mature Audiences only. Contains: Adult themes, Violence, Coarse language, Sexual references, Horror/Supernatural themes, Drug references
Group:Witty
Text:
does NOT have hot flashes...I have POWER SURGES!! Whoa.. is it hot in here, or is it just me??
Group:Witty
Text:
Half of being happy is being happy with what you've got, the other half is being happy no matter what.
Group:Witty
Text:
life is but what we make it if it goes right then you've done something completely WRONG if something goes wrong then your absolutely RIGHT XD !
Group:Witty
Text:
You know what? Your penis is too small for your ego...
Group:Witty
Text:
they breaks up with you than in less than 24 hours finds someone else...
Group:Witty
Text:
WTF does "same difference" mean? If it's different, it's not the effin same!
Group:Witty
Text:
It's cold enough to freeze the hair off a frog's ass outside!!!
Group:Witty
Text:
in this age, why be the princess or the damsel in distress when you can fix the dang thing yourself???
Group:Witty
Text:
It is much wiser to take advice than to give it.
Group:Witty
Text:
says, "If you have the urge to run naked through the streets...spray yourself with Windex to keep from streaking."
Group:Witty
Text:
I'm just saying,my wall is NOT naked.
Group:Witty
Text:
Yeah i may be tied to the fence, but doesn't mean i can't bark at them.
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