Funny facebook statuses and facebook quotes

Stress statuses and quotes

Group:Stress
Text:
After watching a Criminal Minds mini marathon I now know at least 10 ways to kill you and not leave a trace... you might wanna watch your back.
Group:Stress
Text:
Has decided, instead of thinking, "what else could go wrong" I will change my thought process and say, "What will be my next accomplishment?"
Group:Stress
Text:
's conclusion of the day: "if stress actually burnt calories ... I'd be a size zero!"
Group:Stress
Text:
Okay, this shit is pissing me off.
Group:Stress
Text:
If stress was a job then I would be on a really good wage.
Group:Stress
Text:
oh I love stress!! Can I have some more please!! It makes me feel so alive! YIPPIEE!!
Group:Stress
Text:
When people piss me off today, I hope I remember that it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me
Group:Stress
Text:
Anyone who feels like stopping by my house with alcoholic beverages is welcome. Just putting it out there.
Group:Stress
Text:
Dear Stress, You have overstayed your welcome. Please vacate the premises immediately. Thank you.
Group:Stress
Text:
of taking one step forward and two back
Group:Stress
Text:
WARNING, WARNING, STRESS LEVEL EXCEEDED, Warning Melt Down Possible, Warning Meltdown to Commence in 5 4 3 2 KKKKAAAABBBBOOOOMMMM!!! 1 Meltdown Complete.
Group:Stress
Text:
has just read a study that proves that frequent sex improves your memory and greatly reduces stress.
Group:Stress
Text:
what does not kill me--only makes me homicidal. I mean stronger...
Group:Stress
Text:
Life needs to buy a new toilet and quit shitting on me.
Group:Stress
Text:
I've decided that I'm alright with the idea of human cloning. I could use about four more of me right now!
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